Miss me?

Oops!  Sorry I've been M.I.A. At least I have a good excuse for my absence: I recently returned from a medical mission trip in the Dominican Republic where I spent a week healing the sick.  In other words, I've been Single White Female-ing Jesus.  Go me!

 My, what a ridiculously large uterus you have!

If you want to see pics and videos of my awesome time in the D.R., visit my anesthesia school blog by clicking here.

Calling Cards

The only - I repeat, only - thing that the business world's got on that of nurse anesthesia?  business cards.  I miss owning business cards.

If I had these business cards, I'd probably still be hating my life every Monday-through-Friday as a retail buyer instead of learning and performing kick-ass feats in the OR on a daily basis.  Owning these cards would have led me to make some very poor life decisions, and that role is already being expertly filled by alcohol.  In the words of my wine stash (and Forest Gump's elementary school classmates): "Seat's taken!"

[Business cards spotted on Oh Happy Day]

Dinner Is On Me!

Remember that time you lost the receipt for that really expensive business dinner you hosted and your company refused to reimburse you unless you could produce said receipt?

Well, never again will you have to use your personal savings to cover your work-related expenses, thanks to the lads at Expense-A-Steak.

What an amazing idea! Not that I would ever utilize it or anything -- my moral character is ironclad! That and, as a nurse, I no longer take business trips or have the need for an expense account*. But mainly the former.


* It always bugged me when my former bosses referred to an expense account as a "kitty". As in, "why don't we treat our clients to dinner? I'll just take it out of my kitty." Really? I can't be the only one who finds this offensive.

[Click on image for source information]

Fan Mail!

I would like to give a big PMK shout out to my girls Becki and Jennifer, who sent my sister a link to the site Texts From Last Night* with me and this blog in mind! You have no idea what the admiration of two foxy, intelligent women with an impeccable sense of humor (they do read my blog, after all) means to me.

The result of my Google search for "Becki and Jennifer".
See? I told you my readers were foxy!

Let me put it in perspective: My mom doesn't even read my blog anymore. That's right, MY OWN MOTHER. She blames this unfortunate situation on the fact that she's "just really busy right now." She's also at a college football game at the moment - cheering against my Alma mater, I might add - so, yeah.

This got me thinking. Maybe Becki and Jennifer would like to be my new mothers? Think about it, ladies: You could claim an extra dependent on your tax returns. Plus, I do chores and and I rarely wet the bed!


Tempting, right?

* Word on the street is that Adam Sandler's production company, Happy Madison, is slated to produce a television show based on the Texts From Last Night website. Look at me, I'm like a frigging Hollywood Insider for crying out loud!

[Click on the photo for source information]

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

It's strange to me to be sitting here at home on a Sunday afternoon... you see, I've spent the past 2 years working weekends. The pay differential was tough to pass up and, given that all of my friends are also nurses with funky schedules, my social life didn't suffer - I was just as likely to have a social activity on, say, a Tuesday night as I would on Saturday. This means that while all you God-fearing do-gooders were soaking up the King James Version in Church, I was admitting traumas and cleaning poo.

...OR WAS I?

[Image from Susannah's Petunia Face blog]