July 04, 2009

America: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Independence Day reminds me how fortunate we are to live in a country that eschews violent street protests in favor of snarky blog commentary
How does Someecards.com know me so well?
It's like they speak to me or something!

I, like many red-blooded Americans, associate the 4th day in July with drinking bottles of imported beer, lounging poolside in a new bikini purchased with money I don't have, and endangering the lives of those around me by haphazardly igniting flammable objects. What, might one ask, do these things have in connection with securing our freedom from the oppressive rule of the British Monarchy? Nothing. Not a darn thing. Which, in my opinion, only adds to our country's cool factor.

That's right. America is like the Johnny Depp of sovereign nations. Getting inebrieted and eating barbequed goodness during periods of rest from the backyard Slip 'N Slide is like giving some lucky waiter a $4,000 tip. Does it make any logical sense? No. Is it awesome? Abso-frickin-lutely.

Way to go America, you rock. Consider this my version of the slow clap.

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