November 03, 2009

The Dating Game

Fat guy in a little car!  (He's actually not fat. I just wanted
to quote Tommy Boy because, well, it's Tommy Boy.)

Being in a relationship is tough sometimes.  But being single?  Now that's hard.  Sure, there are some benefits to being single.  But the drawbacks... man, those suckers are far too numerous and glaring to be ignored.

The most obvious drawback, of course, is that being single makes you stupid.  And I'm totally speaking from experience here.  Case in point: I lived in Arlington, Virginia 6 years ago and, while driving home on the interstate late one night, another car passed mine... Then I passed it... Then it passed me.  And I had my cruise control engaged.  So I look to my left only to find this total douchebag (sorry mom, but he was a douchbag) staring at me and - I swear on all that is holy - he was holding up his cell phone and pointing to it.


I just so happened to be approaching my exit and Douche-boy followed me onto the exit ramp.  Of course, any normal/sane/safety-conscious girl would have blasted through the approaching red light in an effort to lose Dr. Douchelittle tailing her automobile at 11:00 at night.  But ooooohhh no, not me!  Apparently, I enjoy giving my number to strange men who don't deserve it, and so that's exactly what I did.  Needless to say, our date the following weekend was a total disaster and before the evening was over, I managed to catch Douchey-McDouche-a-lot in a lie regarding his age (did he say 26?  He meant 38!) and was later belittled for not being married at the ripe old age of 24 by said 38 year-old.  Yeah.

It was by far my worst dating experience, but I can't say that I didn't totally deserve it.  I mean, I gave my number to a guy on I-95 for crying out loud.  It was stupid.  And that's how I know that single people are stupid.

Fortunately, not all singles are as silly as I once was.  Take, for example, the Canadian girl who received some rather bizarre voice-mails from an interested suitor.  Rather than returning his creepy advances, she called her local radio station and had them broadcast the messages.  You MUST listen to them.  They're like a Public Service Announcement for single women everywhere.

Enjoy the crazy here.

[Thanks to Joanna for the link!]
[Click on image for source information]

No comments:

Post a Comment